Romantic Crack
by Alois Microwaved Ciel's Pants
Summary: Kanda shows his feeling for Allen. Lenalee has a mystery boyfriend. Lavi has been paired with a blonde. Pure crack! mainly focussed on Yullen:)


Heyo, I haven't really made alotta DGM Fanfics lately, so I may be a little rusty, too many No.6 stories. Well, here I go! This may not seem like a humor at first, but trust me; it is.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own man, nor do I want to because it just wouldn't be the same as the way Katsura Hoshino does it. Though it would be awesome if she put this pairing in it as a major twist…:P

On with story-

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It was the middle of winter and it was snowing like crazy. To be more exact, it was blizzarding like crazy. Everybody was rushing around all warm and cozy in thick clothing and heavy snow boots. It was rather festive with all the snow about and all the Christmas lights. Seeing as Christmas was drawing nearer, that just made it all the more festive.

There was only one person who was NOT, I repeat, NOT, dressed properly or being in the slightest bit festive. That person was the always-grumpy Yuu Kanda. He was not parading around in big heavy clothing; he was not even wishing a merry Christmas to anybody. All he was wearing was a tank top and long black tight pants; yet he says he's not cold. He was, if anything, grumpier than usual.

And it was all because of the one known to him as 'Moyashi'; A.K.A, Allen Walker.

Allen was a constant annoyance to him. But not a physical annoyance; it was a mental annoyance. The small white haired boy was constantly stuck in his thoughts, invading every little space in Kanda's head. It was driving him insane. It was always a constant battle inside his head; his own mini war between telling Allen about his feelings, or simply letting the emotions be hidden forever, and save his well made pride.

Kanda figured he would tell Allen his feelings at Christmas, then run away from the Black Order and never show his face again. Well, that's what he would have liked to do anyway; but the thought of never even being able to see Allen again was too painful.

-Next Scene-

Allen was sitting in the dining hall of the Black Order, eating his usual amount of food, when a sudden thought crossed his mind.

"Hey, Lenalee, where is kanda? He is always down here at this time of day, well…night." He asked the dark haired girl sitting across from him. She raised her eyebrows questioningly. "What? Oh, I don't know." She replied, eyeing Allen suspiciously. Allen's face fell slightly. "Do you know where he might be? Would he be ok?" He asked, worry hinted in his voice.

Lenalee, being a girl with acute senses to these types of emotions said teasingly; "Oh, Allen, how is it that you know he is always down here at time of night? Stalker much?"At those words, Allen's face went very pink. "N-no…?" He stuttered quietly. Lenalee's eyes shone bright like a little girl who got her long awaited pony.

'Perfect…my Gaydar was beeping for ages. I have finally found the source! :D' She thought to herself while her inner Fan girl was breaking out of her outer exterior.

"Actually, Allen, I think I DO know where kanda is." She stated, pure evil radiating from her a like a massive energy. Allen's face lit up and he replied, "Really? Can you tell me?" Lenalee smiled oh-so sweetly, making Allen cringe in fear of what she might say. "Oh yes, I will tell you; I mean, why wouldn't I? He is on the roof." She said the last part bluntly. Allen smiled at her and replied, "Ok, thank you Lenalee. Oh! Look at the time…I think I had better be going. Well, see you later, no…see you tomorrow Lenalee!" He waved at the overly happy Chinese girl.

Lenalee waved good-bye to him; waiting until he was out of sight before rushing off to tell her secret boyfriend about her new-made discovery. Her boyfriend was sure as hell going to laugh at this.

(AN- Who do you think her secret boyfriend is? :P need a clue? One will come up shortly. You know what? I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, 'Lavi' aren't you! WRONG.)

-Next Scene-

"Ah, here it is!" Allen muttered to himself as he finally found the door to the roof. He had taken at least an hour to find it; it would have taken him longer if it had not been for Timcampy turning up to save his ass. He carefully pushed it open, trying his best not to make a sound. At first, all he saw was pure white, but as he pushed the door open further, all the snow gushed onto his face making him splutter in annoyance. Holding his hand up to shield his eyes from the blizzard outside, he carefully made his way forwards; being extremely careful not to trip on anything.

It was at that precise moment that he hoped to not trip on anything, did he trip on something. He face planted into the foot deep snow. "Ow…" He groaned, holding his nose in pain, a trickle of blood running down his face and dripping onto the snow covered ground; staining it's beautiful whiteness with crimson red. 'What the hell did I trip on…?' He thought to himself as he studied his surroundings, looking for the source of his downfall.

Once his eyes had adjusted to the brightness around him, he made out a large shape spread across the ground. "What the…" He muttered as he moved over to where the large lump was currently lying. He reached out a hand and touched it. It radiated slight warmth when his fingers brushed over what felt like cold rubber. Allen let out a gasp and grabbed the large, radiating warmth, lump, and dragged it over to the door and heaved it through into the shelter of the stairway; away from the freezing blizzard outside,

"Kanda! Kanda, are you ok!?" Allen shouted as he shook the frozen Kanda. Kanda's eyes slowly opened and he scanned the teary eyed face in front of his. The first words Kanda grumbled were, "M-Moyashi?".

Whack

"It's Allen Ba-Kanda!"

Allen had whacked Kanda over his frozen head, pouting cutely. "Are you ok? You are freezing. Here, take my jacket." Allen said, taking off his massive over -coat and wrapping it around Kanda. All the while Kanda was just eyeing Allen, wondering what the smaller boy was thinking and how he could possibly call this massive coat a 'jacket'.

"Allen…" Was all Kanda said as the white haired boy was fussing over trying to tighten the 'jacket' around Kanda. Allen froze upon hearing Kanda say his name. He slowly focused his gaze upon Kanda's and replied, "What…?" Allen stared at Kanda as if Kanda had just said, 'I love you', which Allen would never admit, but always wanted to hear Kanda say to him.

"Che, Baka Moyashi. I said, Allen." Kanda replied to the frozen said, Moyashi. Allen's eyes widened to the size of the Earls stomach, which trust me, is huge, and made a strangled sound. "Y-You said my name!" Allen blurted. Kanda frowned, "Yes I did, now take me the hell away from this freezing place! I'm gonna freeze my arse off if I stay out here any damn longer!" He growled to still frozen Allen, who nodded quickly in reply and picked the shaking frozen-to-the-bone samurai look-alike, and carried him bridal style to his room (Allen's room).

-Next Scene-

As Allen, with help from Timcampy, finally made it too his door, he found he needed help opening it. Realizing Allen was in dire need of help, Kanda, still being carried bridal style, reached out and turned the door knob for the poor white haired boy. "Thank you…" He muttered to the violently shaking long haired man.

Allen and the man he was carrying bridal style, walked into the dimly lit room and slumped down on the bed. Huffing slightly, Allen heaved himself up again to help the older of the two. Allen reached toward the blankets which Kanda was lying on, pulling them out from under the Samurai Popsicle. Kanda lay his head down on Allen's pillow and shivered violently.

"Kanda how cold are you?" Allen asked worriedly. Kanda opened his closed eyes and whispered, "Very cold." As he said that, another shiver coursed through his body. Allen paused for a moment, thinking of a way to keep Kanda warm. When he finally made a decision, he noticed Kanda's eyes widen noticeably and stare above his head. "Allen…what is that?" Kanda asked, pointing above Allen's head. Allen looked up and smiled. "That, kanda, is a light bulb. When a person gets a light bulb above their head, it means they have thought of a brilliant idea.

Kanda looked at Allen as if he was an idiot, and then sighed as he brushed every strange thought in him away. "Whatever, since you have one above your head, what is your brilliant idea?" he asked. Allen blushed lightly. "Um…don't get mad at me, please, but um…we could share body heat." Allen muttered the last part. Kanda smirked. "Ok then, come get your small butt in this bed and make we warm." Kanda said mockingly.

Allen's eyes widened again. "What?" Was all he could manage to splutter out. "You heard me. Get in this bed now." He smirked playfully. Allen pouted and inched his way forward. When he was within arms reach of kanda, he was grabbed by the shirt and pulled on top of the moody older boy. "Ahh! Kanda what are you doing!?" He shrieked as his face was shoved right up next to Kanda's, his cheek squished up against his.

"I'm making myself warm. Duh." He replied. Allen blushed hard this time; I mean wouldn't you if your crush had just made you face- plant towards them so that your cheeks were almost infused? Kanda smirked upon seeing the furious red blush spreading all over Allen's face. Kanda turned his head slightly to the side, so his lips were against Allen's cheek; making Allen blush more than Kanda thought was possible.

Kanda opened his mouth and breathed on Allen's face. Allen shuddered and let out a small moan. Upon realizing what he did, he gasped and clamped his hand over his mouth. Kanda let out a small chuckle. "You like, Moyashi?" kanda replied mockingly to Allen's small moan. Allen pouted and turned his face away from Kanda. "Don't do that." He whispered. Kanda pulled the blanket off himself, ignoring the sudden rush of coldness that came flooding over him.

"Why don't you hop in with me? After all, you feel pretty cold yourself." There was complete seriousness in his voice, not even the tiniest hint of mocking. Allen smiled meekly to himself and turned back to face Kanda. "Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?" Allen asked kanda. Kanda glared and spat, "Just hurry up and get under the damn covers before I change my mind! And…there's something I need to talk to you about."

Allen, as confused and embarrassed as he was, re-adjusted himself, so as to fit under the covers with his crush. Kanda reached over and snaked an arm around Allen's thin waist, causing him to squeak in embarrassment. "K-kanda…" Allen said, his voice cracking. That was when Kanda did the unthinkable; he actually wiggled closer to Allen and hugged him with both arms AND nestled his head in the crook of Allen's neck, nuzzling gently. And Allen's eyes were wide the whole time.

"Um…Kanda, do you mind explaining what you are doing? You don't have to stop, I'm just very curious." Allen asked the cuddly Kanda (O_O? why did I write that?). Kanda stopped his nuzzling of Allen's warm neck, and looked up to look in Allen's eyes. "…" Kanda didn't reply, instead, he lifted his head and craned his neck and placed a loving kiss on Allen's unsuspecting lips. Kanda shut his eyes, enjoying the moment, not really caring if Allen had any objections or even if he tried to resist.

Allen soon got over his shock and sudden rush of happiness, and started to kiss back. Kanda's tongue touched Allen's bottom lip, causing the small boy to gasp and open his mouth slightly, and allowing entrance for Kanda's tongue. His tongue explore the inside of Allen's mouth, every crack, crevice and corner; basically, everywhere his adventurous tongue could reach.

Eventually they had to break apart for air, and did so gasping and wheezing.

"Wow…that was epicness at its highest!" Allen wheezed. Kanda, panting slightly, lay his head back down on the pillow and nodded. Allen lay down next to kanda and placed his arms around Kanda as Kanda had done to him.

Soon after, sleep over came them, and they fell into a sleep so calm you would fall asleep from simply glancing at the sleeping , as of now, couple.

-1 Day Later, Early in the Morning, Just Before breakfast-

Kanda woke to the sound of Fan Girling to the MAXIMUM. Sitting bolt upright in bed, he stared at the culprit. When he saw who it was, he could have sworn he had taken hash brownies. No, he POSITIVE he had taken some form of drug. This scene in front of him couldn't possibly be real. Could it? Staring wide eyed at the two people in front of him, he shook Allen from his deep sleep. Allen mumbled something about Dango, and other foods before truly realizing that Kanda reeeeeally needed him to wake up at that moment. "Just go back to sleep Kanda!" Allen mumbled.

Kanda whacked him on the head and pointed to the visitors at the door way. Allen sat up faster than a bolt of lightning and stared just as Kanda had, at the two visitors.

"See!? See, I TOLD you they'd get together!" A Fan Girling Lenalee said to her boyfriend, who was holding her BRIDAL STYLE, with a look of slight discomfort at the scene in front of him. Clearly he was not into the things Lenalee was, well, maybe except for ONE thing *wink wink*.

"Listen sweet, I don't like yaoi. I'm a man. Now let's get outta here before anymore exorcists wake up and find me here." Lenalee's boyfriend said.

(Know who Lenalee's boyfriend is yet? If you are thinking Tyki, WRONG.)

"Oh, okay, the Earl probably wouldn't like it if you came here and didn't kill anyone. Let's go grab some breakfast down at one of the ice cream bars in one of the nearby towns. Ok?" Lenalee replied sweetly to her boyfriend as he walked out of the room carrying her.

Allen looked at kanda, who looked at Allen."What the just happened?" They asked each other simultaneously.

(If you still don't know who Lenalee's mystery boyfriend is, I can tell you, it's not Jasdero, although I was originally gonna use him as her boyfriend. But hey, it's either an akuma or a Noah!)

-At Breakfast Hall-

As Kanda and Allen walked into the breakfast hall that same morning, all they received were stares of complete horror. I mean who wouldn't be horrified at two MALE exorcist's who fight all the time, to just suddenly burst through the doors of an eating area, arms entwined and squished against each other. Every girl in the hall spurted blood a mile away from its original place, their nose, and all the boys got up and left, clutching their throats. Well, almost all the boys with the exception of two. A redhead who was staring all bug eyed at the new couple, and a shorter blonde male, who had two spots on his forehead.

Kanda and Allen went and sat down in front of Lavi and Link.

As soon as they had sat down, Lavi burst into conversation. "So, you two are gay, eh?" Lavi stated, rather than asked. Allen sent him a small fuck-off glare, and Kanda sent him the old get-off-my-lawn-or-I'll-exterminate-you-from-this- world glare. "Speak for yourself you stupid rabbit!" Kanda spat at him.

"He does have a point there Lavi, you are gay." Link informed him. Lavi frowned at Link. "Yeah? So what? You are too." Lavi replied, a bit taken aback at Link's words, although I don't see how. Link, being the very easily embarrassed person he is, blushed. "S-So what? I'm gay with you! So technically neither of us can say about being gay!" Link spat back at his LOVER.

(Yeah that's right! I paired Lavi with Link! )

-Later On-

Ignoring all the stares, the couple went on with their daily life. That was until Lenalee came back. With her boyfriend.

"Hey guy's I'm back! At least come say hi to me and my boyfriend!" Lenalee yelled to the world, not caring what her brother thought anymore. Everyone took one look at her boyfriend and ran for their lives, well all except the exorcists of course. "Lenalee why is he here!?" hissed a very annoyed looking Lavi. "Because he is my boyfriend!" Lenalee spat back at him.

"Seriously? Your boyfriend is Skin Bolic?" Everyone except Kanda and Allen said, for Kanda and Allen already knew; they just sighed and left the room to go 'tend' to something that needs 'doing'.

End-

Wow! Lenalee is going out with skin! O_O and link is with Lavi! Crappy ending!

Please review.


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